Category Archives: Servant Leadership

The Lady in Red.

01 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by in Community outreach, military tributes, Servant Leadership

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Last year while training for my first half marathon, I fractured my hip. Yes, I am such an uncoordinated runner that I broke myself merely training. In all honesty, in my mind I am that mime of a sleek gazelle of a woman running with fluid ease, when in truth I am sure I look like a person having a seizure and half expect the on site medical staff to run to my aid confident that I must be in distress  after all, I  look – well- awkward.  But I love to run. I am not good at it. My body giggles.  My feet hurt. And on a day that is cold like today, the screws in my hip ache and my lungs wheeze.

All said- I still love to run. More importantly, I love to think of myself as a runner.

Today- I was running with a purpose; two in fact. As a board member for McHenry County Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) I am grateful to Mike Splitt having the brilliant idea to organize a Santa Run for Children charities. Last year, the inaugural year, the race attracted over 770 runners. This year, nearly a 1,000 runners. Not bad for a Sunday afternoon in December.  CASA is one of the organizations that benefit from the funds raised for the privilege of wearing a thin Santa suit and running in the cold.

This year, I was also running for Curtis M. Fike.  Curtis was a Marine. He served three combat deployments in 4 years. He left the Marines and was recalled a year and a half later for his 4th deployment before succumbing to the torment of an undiagnosed TBI and PTSD. He ended his pain and began a new journey for his loved ones on Jan 3, 2012.

He sent his sister a text saying he was sorry. He left a note to his family apologizing for doing something so stupid.  But he could not see his way out of the pain and more importantly- he had lost hope for a normal healthy life.  Curtis went from being a happy, young athlete with a breathtaking smile to a combat veteran who was prone to angry outbursts and road rage. He felt unsupported by the VA personnel who are prone to use pharmaceuticals as their go to tool.  One of the young men I talk with explained the dichotomy this way- the Military knows how to turn you from an individual to part of a unit. They just are not as good at re-individuating that same veteran. I did not know Curtis.  I don’t know his family. I learned who he was on pages of heartfelt tributes and various news articles. He was well loved and loved well.

Keri Jacobs created a community of runners a few years ago- running to raise awareness that veterans are committing suicide at the rate of 22 per day, To raise awareness of this epidemic.

I ran the Santa Run with a picture of Curtis on my back lovingly framed by the words 22 TOO MANY and Never Forgotten.

I saw the looks on people’s faces as they read the placards worn by my 6 friends. Six other veterans lost to suicide.  There are stories for many, many more. You may be asking yourself- so what? You wear some kid you don’t know- people feel sad- nothing changes. This is what changed for me. I now feel I know Curtis. He kept me company for 3.16 miles on my first race post surgery. I was scared and worried I couldn’t finish. I had not been training. In preparing for the race I found I gave up easily. I was afraid. Afraid I would hurt myself. Again.

But how do I not keep going when running with Curtis.  I thought- shit, this is NOTHING compared to back to back deployments.  What am I complaining about?  I spent the afternoon reading about the legacy that Curtis left- people who loved him, people who were touched by him, and the changes to the way that Veterans are treated at the center that was unable to light his way out of the darkness. Curtis’s legacy is now the light for those who follow.  Wearing his image kept me going. So, to me, it made a difference. And each time I tell someone about why I run and for whom, it will make difference.  My father always said- you have to suit up, show up and pick up the rope. We all have our load to bear.  We don’t have to be a superhero to change the world. We just need to be present.  Happy Sunday. Thanks, Curtis for running with me today- my load was much lighter with you with me

If you want to learn more about the mission of 22 Too Many- check out their facebook.  Or to learn about Curtis, follow this link. http://www.springfieldnewssun.com/news/news/local/ohio-seeing-dramatic-increase-of-ptsd-cases-1/nPSfh/

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Preparing for Veterans Day

07 Thursday Nov 2013

Posted by in Community outreach, military tributes, Servant Leadership, Uncategorized

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I had the blessing of listening to a conversation between two students last night. They are 25 & 26 years old young men who are confident and at ease in their skins albeit quick with the snark and dark humor. They are both dual theater combat veterans. The conversation was casual- fluid and had an ease of two people who share a secret. A Combat Engineer and an Infantrymen,  both men who had to make a choice on their license plate of whether to say Iraq or Afghanistan. They likely chuckled at how few people realize they are not the same war. Casually, laughingly, they banter back and forth about life in a war zone. They compare the differences between the two different wars;  the lessons learned as you acclimated to life in a war zone. They joke about how Fobbits- (those who spent their war on a Forward Operating Base with schedule chow times, hot showers and the internet) -always say, “My job was kinda like the infantry.” The laughter that follows carries an edge. Yeah, its kinda like comparing a Marshmallow to a brick, they’re both rectangles. 
 Their war wasn’t spent on the FOB but outside the wire.
They laughingly talked about how route clearance patrol was the worse duty- miming the bug eyed look out the window as you slowly roll through the streets of Iraq looking for IEDS- having to get out and investigate each “suspicious” pile of garbage in a country filled with suspicious piles of garbage.  “Just shoot it until it blows up. What? That’s what I did.” the Combat Engineer laughs…. until of course the rules changed and you were no longer able to shoot your weapon without being fired upon first.  Someone might get hurt.
“You know, you just get up on it and go in real low,” he says, miming out the deep knee squat with an arm extended, pretending to poke something with a stick, “because you know going in low made all the difference.” He laughs sarcastically. Nothing like being a shrapnel magnet.
“Yeah, those days sucked.” says the Infantryman looking over at me. “We had to wait for those guys. We rolled out behind the engineers, rolling out real slow….talk about being stressed out. Your just waiting for something to happen. Not if, fucking when.  Just staring, up on the glass looking around. … sucked.”
The conversation evolved into explaining to me the various devices invented by soldiers trying to stay alive- things that would jam cell phone signals to stop bomb detonation. “Talk about a pucker. When your rolling down the road and look at that light as it goes from green to yellow. Fuck that.”
Then calmly explaining that meant the jammer was actually doing its job, meaning there was a bomb trying to go off. Or how another device was developed  when the enemies tactics evolved to inflict more damage  by detonating when the cab was over it- improving its ability to be lethal versus just disabling the vehicle. They share a common disdain for those making money off the war and a frustration with the “Support our Veterans” window dressing that comes with the upcoming holiday.
And most important, they share a pride in their service.
They just want people to get it.
Less than 1% of the population raises that hand in oath to defend the Constitution. Think about that for a minute – these young men and women who were willing to raise their hand, leave their homes and fight a fight they didn’t start. I follow the news and recognize a war weary nation. A nation now wondering if Veterans get too many benefits. Wondering if they are rewarded too much for doing their jobs. After all, they weren’t drafted, they volunteered.
To those individuals I say, “Bite me.”
Where was this concern in the beginning?  When the country was in the rabid post 9/11 days wanting vengeance? You wrote the check. Now it is time to cash it.
On this upcoming Veteran’s Day- amidst the furniture and car sales and the household chores you are able to do on your day off- I ask you to remember those who sacrificed for this day. They are no longer only those stoic old men talking about battles long ago. They are young men and women who sacrificed their youth. Gave up the freedom to avoid dangerous situations. The Freedom to say “Are you friggin’ crazy- those people are shooting out there, I don’t want to go.” They sacrificed the giggle of their kids, the warmth of their loved ones arms, the ease of sleeping in, the choice of what to do with their day, the ability to quit their job because it sucks, the right to decide where they want to live, the right to a warrant before search of their home, car or person, the right to protest or talk to the press, the freedom to decide to grow their hair long or decide what to wear to work.
The every day freedoms that we often do not even think about because they are so innate are the same things the military forgoes when they raise their hand and take an oath to defend the Constitution.  And now, they face a country that is afraid of their unseen wounds. A country that can’t see how the skills of staying alive on a battle field convert to the civilian workplace.  Or think it is unfair that you go to school for free.  Free, except that it was paid for by spending time in a desert hoping to come out unscathed. And knowing that is the lie you tell yourself to keep going everyday.
 
One percent.
Thank a vet. Look them in the eye. Speak from your heart and be thankful you have no idea how they feel. Veterans day is the day we celebrate Veterans but we get all the gifts.
 
 

Build a Life. Don’t live one.

14 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by in Servant Leadership, Uncategorized

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I find inspiration everywhere- a sign in a restaurant, a passing comment, the things that make my niece giggle- everywhere.  I try to stay open to messages the universe sends like road signs hidden in obscure places on the scavenger hunt that is life.

Ashton Kutcher is not one of my favorite actors. In fact, he is someone I have been fairly dismissive of over the past decade. Yes, he is an attractive man but he just struck me as so Sophomoric. His show Punk’d reminded me of every jerk I knew in high school and his movies filled with more of the same humor.

No one is more shock than I that today, I found myself doing a mental standing ovation to the man who made his career being a pretty face with an adolescent boy’s humor.

The video of Ashton Kutcher accepting an award at the Teen Choice Awards begins predictably with screaming prepubescents and close ups of pop stars dressed in ultra hip, cool fashions.

– “Let’s be honest- this is the Old Guy award,”  Kutcher begins, greeted by laughter and more screams.  He tells the audience because of that he is going to give them some advice he learned early in his life- about opportunity, about being sexy and about living life.  The auditorium is filled with more screams from an audience on the edge of their seats .

  • Opportunity looks a lot like hard work.
  • The Sexiest thing is being really smart.
  • Your life is yours to build.  

What?

No, YOLO?  No, live out loud on social media because there is no one more interesting than you? No, having fun is your birthright?   

The silence in the room was uncomfortable. The message may have fallen flat on the teens in the room, but it moved me.

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

This line of thinking leaves me paralyzed with panic from the finality of the exercise.  The advice I give to my students to stop looking at their careers as a single choice and more like an evolution based on life lessons and experimentation. Why is there only one choice? 

I am standing at a cross road. Looking for a sign.  

But perhaps what I should be looking for is bricks.

(I will include the link.  It is worth the 5 minutes of your life it takes to view sage advice from an unlikely source.) 

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/08/13/famous-actor-reveals-real-name-gives-incredibly-insightful-speech-about-hard-work-and-generosity-at-teen-choice-awards/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=story&utm_campaign=Share+Buttons

Catalyst:A person or thing that precipitates an event.

11 Tuesday Oct 2011

Posted by in Community outreach, Economic Development, Engagement, Servant Leadership, Small Business, Women Business owners

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I was recently fortunate  to participate in the new Oprah Winfrey project called Lifeclasses.  It is a 25 episode series of life lessons that Oprah shares with her audience via her new network (OWN), Facebook, Oprah.com and a live interactive studio audience. I was a part of the audience for the first show.

Let me say, whether you are a fan or not, it is hard to not be impressed by the processes of this media juggernaut. Truly amazing how people are entertained, engaged and generally nudged by happy and smiling employees in the direction needed. From an organizational stand point, one would never have known it was a new studio, a program, a new format, a new everything.

And Oprah- in all her presence- is just , well, Oprah.

I have spent most of the morning kneading the dough of what was introduced last night. The topic was The False Power of EGO. How does ego prevent you from living your best life.

This is a topic of great personal interest.  How is it that you get out of your own way?  Not fall victim to the trolls in your head that narrate many of our stories?  The general sense of self doubt that is a part of many of us. How do we stop wanting more and start being present with what we have?

I sit this morning with two things growing in me around this subject. One, I find myself becoming angry, yes, angry about some of the questions posed on the show last night. They were presented with a sense of hope- “how do I stop doing these things that I know are bad for me?, (even though I just admitted, I don’t really want to give up the good parts.)  But with no real accountability. “Can you bring forth my transformation with out any suffering or pain please and get me past this to my future success?” 

This is not  to cast judgment on anyone, it is clear to me, these people were doing the best they can in the moment. What I am sitting with is this, where does that live in me? Where is it that I am wringing my hands in angst about something self created that I don’t want gone, I just want easier?

What struck me was the feeling that there was no accountability- as if these choices were the work of some outside force and if you could just make the icky part go away, (the lack of wealth, power and prestige) We would all be fine.

Can we reset the clock to when things were fabulous please?

There seemed to be a general resistance to the idea that YOU, each of us, were fabulous, just the way you are.

It is not surprising to me that Eckhardt Tolle stated most people reach this level of awareness after a catastrophic loss or tragedy- nothing like a psychic “boot to the head’ to adjust your view of life and align what is truly important. But how do we develop that muscle without the tragedy? How is that we move from lack of accountability for choices we are actively making to ownership of and trust in what is.

Oprah spoke to the beauty of our worth defined by the miracle of creation- that “you” being- simply being- is enough. It is these simple concepts that are the ones that I struggle with. Simple. Complicated by my ego and the outside units of measure I cling to validate my right to take up space on the planet.

What does this have to do with business you might ask. I spent the evening with this growing sense that if I could communicate this simplicity; trust your instincts, use benevolent acceptance, let go of the anger and defense that feeds the ego, in a way that encouraged or engaged people- perhaps we could begin to rebuild.

Communities come together in amazing ways when tragedy strikes.  Stories of helping hands, sharing resources, working together abound in tornado ravaged towns. How do we get the buy in without the disaster? The rainbow without the flood so to speak.

It is what we are asking of our communities-  to have faith in something you have not seen before, that is unfamiliar and unproven…. so we can  move you out of the path of destruction that has not yet happened to out there for the general masses?

We are asking communities to put  aside your individual goals to make your life better and work tirelessly towards a future brighter than you can comprehend or have experienced for your entire community.

To allow yourself to Imagine the Possibilities.   To move together towards a common goal of living better; with an engaged community whose first and foremost goal to is have enough.

Simply enough.

(Ideas+Innovation)Involvement= economic development.

Thank you, Oprah.  You are a true Catalyst.

Best, MMM

MMMaule@3m-group.com

The Starting Point of Change

11 Tuesday Oct 2011

Posted by in Servant Leadership, Small Business, Uncategorized

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Guy Kawasaki, former Apple employee, wrote a poignant and poetic article of the lessons he learned from the recently passed, Apple founder Steve Jobs.

“The starting point of changing the world is by changing a few minds. That is the greatest lesson I learned from Steve Jobs.”

Not to jump on the bandwagon, but consider me flight… I believe the single most important lesson and the legacy that is Steve Jobs is – change is not only good, but also necessary. It is frightening and amazing. It is how we continue to evolve, to grow beyond the current shell that is safe and familiar but also limiting.

Change is inherently frightening to people because it challenges people to believe in the unknown, unseen and unproven. It says- push away from that safe place on the wall of the pool and get over here in the deep end. It asks us to believe in ourselves in a way that as a culture, we are reluctant to do try.

We applaud those innovators that crack open the shell and bring in the light we didn’t know existed; brilliant we anoint them forgetting often times they were also fools who took risks that failed. The “losers” we warn our children and colleagues about.

The reality is- we are all both winners and losers; brilliant and bozos existing side by side in the same space. Our fear of change often manifesting the loss by missed opportunities or being slaves to predictive and habitual practices of business and relationships.

I spent my morning talking with a friend who is being pushed in ways he has never experienced in 25+ years and common wisdom would say- buckle down, don’t make waves, comply to survive.  But everything in his body, his psyche and his understanding of the business says stand up and PUSH BACK! If he were his own client, his counsel would be to change the system- your company is bleeding to death slowly because of short term, short sighted decisions that do not serve the company as a whole for the long term. The reason for our conversation was to explore this situation with a different lens- change the perspective.  To take the emotion (reactionary processing) out of the system and respond with a decision that may not be predictable but is responsible to those who matter most to him.

Change is hard. Change is Scary.  But change is also a gift that allows you and your company to imagine the possibilities; to take an offensive posture instead of a defensive posture. While defense will prevent your opponent from advancing, offense is what puts points on the board. You need to score to win. You need to innovate to survive.

Your company will need to change to evolve in a ever changing competitive landscape- but more importantly- to remain relevant. The beauty of the free market system is that customer pressure drives innovation and forces the price down. Customer pressure makes diamonds out of coal- to bring our best foot forward.

To create a line of defense against pressures  that are moving your company forward is silly- it is also using resources to stay put. The secret is to identify how to harness that same pressure, to use that energy to advance your company rather than to hold a line o defense. Where do you find your IPOD moment? How do you jump the curve and deliver to your customers that which they didn’t know they were missing.

Where is the white space in your industry, market and customer base?

The Starting point of change is truly to change your own mind.

Best, MMM

MMMaule@3m-group.com