This is the story of the girl who was too much. Once upon a time, she danced in the sun, relishing with abandon the fire that ran through her veins. She jumped for joy – filled the crevice of her heart with all she desired.
Her smiled filled the sky with song and she bit into life and let the juice run down her chin.
Slowly, she began to wonder. Why did people shake their heads at her? Point their fingers and snicker behind their hand. Who does she think she is? She is so LOUD! Look how selfish she is to take of so much of the sunshine. And that dance- is she just crazy. People will see.
Slowly, over time the girl lessened her song, singing it softly so as not to disturb those around her. And she began to realize real ladies didn’t jump and dance with joy, but kept their poise and smiled shyly. Soon, her heart was no longer brimming but still filled with the approval of those around her.
At times,she would forget her place and call out with joy, jump to the sky, her face to the sun. Until those she held most dear, those she loved with all the joy in her heart would back away from the grandness of her presence and tell her she was too much.
They would look at her beauty, the joy in her heart and they were afraid. It was so bright, shone in the night sky like a harvest moon. Surely it would draw unwanted attention. It should be put away. Hidden for your own protection. Someone might see, get the wrong idea. You had to be careful, you don’t want to be one of those girls; those girls who take what they want.
So she learned to quiet her voice, lessen her joy, stop her dance… fit in, blend in- don’t want to much, take too much, live too much…
But she had a secret.
Her joy still shone through her eyes and she would dance with abandon in the privacy of her mind. She would laugh out loud when she was alone– and cast her joys to the winds where they would be held and nourished.
But still the box grew smaller. “Your questions show a mind to quick to be trusted- you will make them feel bad. “
“Your laugh is inappropriate- you’re so loud…. “
“You lust for life. It is so.. so wanting. “
Don’t be rude. Wait your turn.
Don’t tell me what you want in your bones- your knowing frightens me- it is too raw, too real, too, too much.
And so the girl believed she was too much. And hid her true self until that day
She laughed with a richness she had forgotten. Her heart sailed to heights she had never before seen and danced with joyous abandon.
You found me. She cried. You saw me in the darkness where we have walked together. I trust you in my cells in ways I have never known before. You move the blood in my veins – my heart is filled.
Don’t back away… trust that you can hold me. Know that your heart is right and this is our destiny. You are the root of my root, the blood of my blood, the beat of my heart.
Believe that I am enough.
And the reflection in her mirror smiled back at her.
Shellie Kruchko said:
I love you for reminding me she sits waiting for me to remember her… and see her… and let her be free again!
Karen Gernaey said:
You have a wonderful way with words, Mary Margaret, forcing whatever you write to come alive with the real pulse of life. Thank you for sharing your writing. Trust you’ll continue doing so…………Sending Love
Thank you for putting words to life as I am experiencing it. I am that girl…and thanks to beautiful people around me, and shedding the ones who tell me I am ” too much”, I am beginning to laugh and dance once again. I have found me. This was beautiful MMM. Thank you.