MAY 23,& 24, 2013

Happy military Appreciation month. I have been writing a tribute to someone in my life associated with the military everyday to honor the month. Today, I am going to write a twofer – and talk about my sister in law Alane and brother in law Danny. Alane served 10 years as a Machine Repairman in the US Navy. She served the bulk of her career on the USS Vulcan, which is a Tender. A tender is the type of ship that is a floating repair shop. The Vulcan was also a pioneer in the Women in Navy Ships (WINS) program, females made up one-seventh of its crew. Prior to the WINS program being a Machine Repairman would have been a difficult rating for Alane- she would not have been able to serve her sea ratio. Alane went to college right after high school and then decided to follow her brothers and father into the US Navy. She, like Jack was an east coast sailor, meaning she spent her career on the east side of the country and her deployments were primarily to the Med. She also served on the USS Spear which is a Submarine Tender. While in the Navy, Alane met her husband Danny. Danny was a 6 years sailor who was Navy welder. He served on the Vulcan, which is where they met. They married in 1986. Danny separated from the Navy in 1992. He began working for General Motors using the skills he acquired in the Navy and Alane finished the remained of her contract. The settled in Millersville Maryland on a 5 acre hobby farm. Alane went on to do machinist work for Vulcan stoves- (too bad she wasn’t a Star Trek fan, it would have completed the theme.) Alane and Danny remain happy and active, living the dream life of hunting, fishing and fun on the Chesapeake. Danny grew up on the Bay and salt water is in his blood. They are the favorite aunt and uncle to my children. It is hard to compete with someone who takes you fishing for your first fish,(in the Bay) which turns out to be a 31 inch striped bass. My children spent their childhood learning gun safety and how to properly shoot at the hands of Dan and ALane. My kids appreciate Crabs because they caught them themselves, working hard under the summer sun, swimming in the Chesapeake Bay while waiting for the traps to fill. Dan and Alane taught my kids how to weld, how to drive, how to shoot, how to fish, how crab and most importantly- how to respect the cycle of life that feeds us all. They taught my kids the responsibility of hunting and crabbing, how to give back and why it is important to work hard. I couldn’t have asked for a better influence on my children in the early years. My memories are of roaring laughter and eyes filled with wonder as the kids followed animal tracks, repaired a small engine or learned to make Johnny cakes over a fire. Dan and Alane are no nonsense people who are practical and kind. They taught my children to respect others and helped model that with their own conduct, whether it was properly cleaning and stowing your gear no matter how tired you were or aiding an elderly neighbor because they needed help.
Danny and Alane live a great life on a beautiful farm near the Annapolis dairy farm. They were “green” before it became chic- because it makes sense to use resources wisely and prudently. Danny would rather repair something than buy something new- because it makes sense to do so. Alane cans her own food because it taste better when you grow it yourself. Their lifestyle was so foreign to a suburbanite like me when I first met them- in fact, I was a bit judgmental about it. But their frugality led to owning their home in 5 years so they were free to do what they wanted because they were free to make choices most of us can’t. As I have aged, I find each year, I get closer and closer to where they started- and each year I am happier and happier. Live simple. Laugh often. Love Always. It is the motto they taught my kids and me, as well. I can not thank them enough for the memories they created for my children, for the support they provided me as a parent and for their service to our country.

MAY 25, 2013

Happy Military Appreciation Month. In honor of the month I am writing a tribute to a person in my life associated with the military. Today, I am going to honor Master Chief Shelby Miller. Shelby was born in Portsmouth, VA- the son of a retired Chief petty officer. He grew up in Huntsville, Alabama. He joined the Navy in 1969 after working briefly as a civil servant in NAS Norfolk. He went to “A” school at Great Lakes and “C” school in Dam Neck, VA. He had a illustrious career serving on the USS LUCE (DLG-7), USS HARRY E. YARNELL (CG-1), USS JOSEPHUS DANIELS (CG-27), Missile Systems Instructor GMS/SMS Dam Neck, VA, USS BIDDLE (CG-34), USS JOSEPHUS DANIELS (CG-27), and in December 1993, he reported on-board USS BRISCOE (DD-977) for duty as our Command Master Chief. This is when I met him. I was the Ombudsman for the USS Briscoe- which means I was the link between the command and the families. Think back to the days before cell phones and the internet. Back to the days when military wives would number their letters so their husband would open them in the correct order. Being an Ombudsman meant managing young wives who had no support system, parents who needed to get ahold of their sailor at often the worse times- terminally ill parent, the death of a loved one, or something equally critical and unpleasant. Instead, they called me and I relayed the information to the ship. Shelby told me in the beginning to “ be sure to keep my head and not to get wrapped around the axle.” It is was never boring, One time, I even had a Congressman call me- but Shelby took it all in stride. My favorite memory of Shelby was the Briscoe Bear. In an effort to connect kids with their deployed parents, we sent a stuffed Bear named Briscoe ( our ship name) as a stow away on the ship- he came on in a sea bag, and worked his way around the ship, staying with each unit and sending home a letter about his adventures. Shelby was the voice of Briscoe. The photos and letters sent “home” and published in our newsletter were a huge hit- kids had a better understanding of what their parents did for a living, the stories were a way to break up the boring days of deployment and the sailors stepped up. Of course, the natural competiveness kicked in and the stories got better each time. Someday, I will tell you about the tour with Engineering. Leave it to say, Briscoe will never be the same and has the tattoo to prove it. Shelby was an important part of my life as a Navy wife. He was my confidant. My boss. And My partner in crime. I knew too much, about ships movement, about their work and the ugly side of sailors – often before my husband knew. But Shelby kept me focused and sane. He had this laid back manner that help me KNOW things would be ok in the end. Shelby lived as a Geographical sailor so that his children would not have to move around. He lived away from his wie and kids so they could stay in one place. His son Aaron followed him into the Navy and spoke at his retirement ceremony. His daughters Anelise Marie, and Amy Elizabeth grew into beautiful young women who loved their father. His wife Mary Jane met Shelby on the pier after Shelby’s final deployment – in her arms was Mrs. Briscoe Bear- waiting for the return of her sailor. Master Chief is the highest rank you can achieve as an Enlisted Petty Officer. The Master Chief of a ship is a unique and highly respected position- the highest ranking enlisted personnel. You are the authority. You are the mediator. You are the no more bull shit stop. Shelby was all that and more to me. He had a heart the size of Pennsylvania with a manner that reminded you of Bob Marley. I could think of no better ally as I navigated broken toes to avoid ships movement, long dead mothers found in Brooklyn apartments and lonely days of blacked out communication to families. I don’t regret the absence of email for ship’s company. It made my job easier- more contained. I am sad that Congress is considering eliminating the role of the Ombudsman given the technological advances. It wasn’t the access that made my job easy- it was the relationship I had with Shelby. I will forever remember Shelby being piped off that final time at his retirement, turning to take his wife’s hand and passing through the raised flags with her. I think of Shelby often and wish him nothing but the best.

MAY 26, 2013

Happy Military Appreciation Month. I am writing a tribute to the members of the military in my life in recognition of the month. Today, I am honoring Micah Barcus. Micah served as a Sniper in the US Army from 1996-2001 and then later joined the Coast Guard to serve four more years as a Helicopter Mechanic. Forever looking for excitement and an adrenaline rush, Micah became a Paramedic. Micah is a force that enters the room before his body. He is a presence. He is an extreme athlete- running races, triathlon and even bicycling from Mchenry to Denver. When we met recently for coffee, he casually told me he ran a Xeterra Triathlon the day before. That is a swim in a lake, a mountain bike leg and then a trail run. Clearly not for the faint of heart. He is like the energizer bunny. Micah told me he knew he would join the Army long before he did- he grew up listening to stories from his father’s service in Vietnam and his grandfather’s service in Korea before him. It was the family business. He was assisting with drug operations in the jungles of Columbia before he could drink. Micah career was filled with helicopter crashes, rolled jeeps and late night phone calls calling for him to return to base to go on a mission. Micah left the Army with the intention to return to school. He was back and finding his way when the death of his brother in Iraq led him to hear the call to duty once again. It is difficult to be a sole surviving son- the want to serve your country balance with the need to respect your mother’s wishes. So, he joined the Coast Guard. He became a Helicopter mechanic, tearing down, inspecting and rebuilding the unit’s helicopters every two weeks. Micah left the Coast Guard and went to MCC to become a paramedic-. Being a first responder is natural for Micah; he is efficient, and capable- keeping a cool head in the time of crisis. Wanting more for his family, Micah is studying to become an ER nurse.
Micah is the heart bursting proud father of a 4 year old son. Micah is helping me on a project about the reintegration process for returning veterans. He has found the answer to how to continue to serve his country and respect the wants of his mother and father. I thank you Micah for all you have done, and all you continue to do.

May 15, 2013-

Happy military appreciation month. I am recognizing someone in my life who is associated with the military every day. Today., I am recognizing Mike Thielen.

I met Mike through his step mother. Actually, I met Mike’s reputation through his step mother; at the time, Mike was deployed in Iraq.  I learned about Mike through the snacks and reading selection she would send him in his care packages. Twizzlers  by the bucket load and jerky by the pound… Mike was a talented football player for Richmond Burton high school before he joined the Army in 2003.  He was deployed to Iraq from 2005-2006. At the time, things were hot in Iraq- literally and figurately. I remember the day his unit was extended – it was a never ending dance of why they were not coming home.  After Mike returned to his base in Alaska, Mike served one more year before shifting to the National guard in 2007.  Mike ended his service in 2009.  It is very hard fro someone to live up to the bragging of a doting parent.  To hear Patricia tell it,  Mike was the kindest, funniest kid who loves his family and would give you the shirt off his back.  She was right. Mike is hysterical. Mike is hard working. Mike would give you the shirt off his back- (proof can be found on his Facebook, lol.) Seriously- Mike Thielen seemed a bit larger than life to hear Patricia and his brothers talk about him. All true.  Mike has that loveable lug kind of demeanor that makes everyone around him comfortable but a quick wit that lets you know how intelligent he is.

Mike helped me with a video project about what it was like to return home. I still remember his quote. “ it’s like asking someone their favorite color. If I say blue- and you ask me again, it doesn’t change that my favorite color is blue. Stop asking me what it was like.”  Mike worked hard and found his way home. In 2011, Mike married his beautiful wife Michelle and recently bought his first house. He then has another big win, the birth of his daughter, Cheyanne.

I see him with his daughter and see another side of him. Devoted, head over heels in love first time father.

Thank you for your help, your service and your willingness to reach back and help another vet. You are a great guy.

Happy Military Appreciation Month- I didn’t get back in time to post this last night and it was important to me that I included this family in my efforts.  So, it is a day late but well worth the wait. Today I am recognizing the Jarrell clan.  Jay (‘58-‘61) and Shirley Jarrell (’59-61) both served in the US Army, Their son Mike served in the US Marines  (’83-87) and Mike’s son Jacob is currently serving in the US Army.

Jay and Shirley were both from the mountains of West Virginia. They grew up in an area where few career options outside of the coalmines were available. The region was poor, few went on to college and most settled in to a life of hard work in a dark hole.  Jay joined the Army in 1958, and his girlfriend Shirley followed a year later when she turned 18.  When we were discussing their service last night, Shirley reminded me she would have joined regardless. It was the fastest ticket out of West Virginia, away from overly strict parents (and no opportunities for a bright young woman.)   Jay and Shirley served in the Army, leaving West Virginia behind them and settled into Illinois. Jay was a Construction Engineer in the Army. After his service, Jay joined the post office where he worked as a letter carrier until retirement- never a man to be idle, he later also worked at Jewel until he retired there as well.  Jay and I spent years sparring over politics- to say we are on opposite sides of the aisle would be kind. Jay’s general retort to me was that I was a Liberal Commie. It was delivered in a playful and loving way and made me feel heard. It’s still makes me smile, every time I think of it. He asked last night what I teach and I jokingly told him Communism, (I teach business) and he just smiled and said, “That’s good. They teach everything else.”   He was recently recognized for 50 years of membership to the Postal union- I laughingly asked how they let him in.  That is just how we roll, loving respect and disagreement.

Shirley was a woman born 3 decades too early. The world was not ready for the likes of Shirley.  Beautiful, Bold and Brilliant, the Hills of West Virginia were too small for her from the get go.  Early childhood experiences with the lack of options for healthcare would shape her life and her advocacy. She joined the Army and became a Field Medic.  I always thought if the world were different Shirley would have been a terrific Doctor.  She let go of her wish of becoming a nurse to take on the obligations of a young family- but was beaming with pride when her daughter graduated from nursing school.  When Shirley returned to the work, it was always on the edges of the medical profession- home health care management or career placement for a Pharmaceutical company. Shirley was the most medically knowledgeable person I have ever met outside of the medical field. Truly Amazing.

Jay and Shirley were my second parents when I was growing up- the Jarrrell house was my refuge when my large family got too …. Too loud, too complicated, too big , just too much.  Being able to be around a family with one daughter was like a science experiment for someone who was one of seven females sharing a single bathroom and single telephone.  My childhood memories from 4 grade to marriage are in equal parts the Vasseur household and the Jarrell household. I am deeply blessed and forever thankful for their willingness to take me into their lives.  So, in some respects, I grew up with Mike. We fought like sibling. I locked Mike in the shed once- Hilarious until he practically tore the shed apart. (Who am I kidding, still hilarious.) Mike wasn’t sure what to do with his life when he was a teen. He was directionless and looking at the potential to travel a bad path. His friends, (who in some regards were my friends) were schmucks.  Blessed was the day that Mike decided to join the Marine Corps.  It changed the trajectory of his life.  Mike served as a company clerk from ‘83-’87.  Mike is happily married with three children.

Jacob is Mike’s oldest son. He, like his father, was a bit restless and lost when he was in high school. Jacob, like his father, found direction in the military. He is currently in the US Army, winding own his service obligation in Ft. Carson’s Colorado. He went to boot camp at Ft. Benning, GA and did a tour in in Iraq.  He met a girl while he was in and it looks like they will marry. By all accounts- the Army was good for Jacob.

This post is long, and if I wrote fully about my love and gratitude for this family, I would still be here tomorrow.  I believe in fate and trust that it had a hand in my spilling milk on that little blonde girl, Lisa, in fourth grade who became my  true BFF, my  life long friend and confidant.  And in Mike telling me she didn’t live there when I ventured down to her house that first time.  And in Mark trusting me with his secrets like a big sister.  And in Jay helping me to hone my debating skills and have a voice amongst adults – learning the importance of respect versus winning. And in Shirley accepting me into her home, her family and her heart. I believe those who serve never stop. I thank you all for your service but also your love and support.  I am forever indebted.

The Jarrell family, like my family, my husband’s family and many others I know  gave multiple generations of service to this country.  Considering that less than 14% of the population are veterans, less than 1% currently serve in our all voluntary military and only .46% of the total population are combat veterans- we, as a country, owe a TREMENDOUS debt to families like the Jarrells.  It doesn’t matter why you join- but that you are willing to stand point, raise your hand, and give up many of the rights you are fighting to defend.  When you join the military- you sign a contract with your government, swear an oath to defend the United States Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic; and bear true faith and allegiance to the same.

So, today, with my last tribute I ask you- when was the last time you considered the privilege it is to be an American. The freedom to be pissed off at your government and challenge it- whether by protest or at the ballot box?  Or the luxury of clean water and a dependable and safe food source?  Or the privilege to openly worship as your heart calls?  

I started these tributes on a whim. Each day, I would spend a few minutes thinking about whom I wanted to write about and it was fun. I am very proud of my circle of family and friends and the fact I had NO problem finding 31 people to talk about.

I ask you to take a moment to find a veteran in your life, and tell them thank you. Thank them for their willingness to serve, for the sacrifice they made, their family made so that you could spend this weekend, mowing your lawn or watching a little league game, perhaps questioning the behavior of your elected officials over a beer.  Meanwhile, 865,265 veterans are waiting in a backlog of claims for their benefits the government they fought to defend promised them.

And finally, June is PTSD awareness month- learn the facts and lose the stigma.  You can go to Loveourvets.org to learn how you can help.

My thanks to those of you who have been playing along- if you want to see all of the tributes they can be found on my blog.  https://marymargaretmaule.wordpress.com

God bless and safe return to all those currently deployed.